Gone are the days when churches were only meant to be places of worship.
Nowadays, Christians have turned the holy places into business and profit-making organizations, and that’s why most of these preachers lead a lavish lifestyle.
With millions of churches mushrooming from every corner of the world, we have different types of people, especially women who throng or rather worship at these places.
Well, from the attention seekers to the spiritual ones to Mafisilets, here are the types of women you’ll find in every Kenyan church.
The loud ones
They will always shout Amen to anything the pastor/speaker says. They’re also the kind of women whose tone will be too high during praise and worship moments. Too bad if she’s part of the choir, her voice will irritate your ears.
The annoying type. They chew from the start of the service to the end. There are those who chew loud leaving those seated next to them angry. Please if you really have to chew, do it slowly or simply visit a miraa base and join your fellow goats.
They are never on time. Will always walk in late and distract other worshippers. Some even arrive wearing high heels, walking like newborn calves learning how to walk and their movements always leave them the centre of attention. Dear latecomers, if you can’t make it to church early, please stay home and follow the service on TV.
4. The spiritual ones
These are the type of women who pray and go before their maker on the knees praying for everyone including the neighbours’ children who hang out with the wrong company, the security guard who’s always eyeing their househelps etc. These prayerful women are never afraid to worship their maker.
5. Those who sit in front distract the pastor
Every church has a Jezebel just like every market has its own madman/woman. They dress skimpily and always fight for the front seats just to distract the pastors. From showing off their cleavages, tender thighs to sexy legs, these women will do anything just to get the attention of the pastor.
6. Those looking for sponsors
Getting a man has become a nightmare to city women. Most of them go to top churches every Sunday just to hunt for that Mr perfect and monied boyfriend. Dear ladies, God does not allow adultery and if you think attending every service at your church will help you hit a jackpot, sorry. You can try these kind of games in nightclubs.
7. Church employees
They work as ushers, choir members, chefs, security guards etc. One they go to church at 6 am, they leave at 9 pm because they need to ensure everything is in order ahead of the next time’s service.
8. The mean ones
These are those who rarely give offering. During offering collection, they’d rather fake a call just to avoid giving.
9. The gossipers
They know everyone who attends their church and can give you their whole history.
They even gossip about their pastors and know when he puts on shoes or a pair of trousers that don’t suit them.
These are the types of women who attend churches, especially the high end ones, just to salivate over the pastor and any handsome creatures. They will always share pics of that hunk pastor on social media and caption: “How many likes for my spiritual father?”
11. Committee members
They are in all church committees including WhatsApp groups. They never miss updating members on who was beaten by the husband, who gave birth and need their support.
12. Don’t wait for sermons
These are the types of women who will leave the church immediately after the offering is collected. They don’t believe in sermons. But wait, what’s the whole idea of going to church if you can’t stay until the service is over? Why can’t you stay home and just read the Bible for yourself then?
13. And lastly, the noisemakers
If you sit next to such type of women you cannot get or listen to what the pastor says. They will always talk endlessly and giggle whenever something is said. Avoid such! They’re a highway to hell.