Media personality Adelle Onyango has shared her childhood background living with an abusive father.
Speaking on her podcast Legally Clueless, the former radio presenter narrated how traumatized it was watching her father abuse her mother until she decided to walk away.
This is after one of her listeners, Miriam, gave her own experience living in an abusive home.
I told Miriam this, but I will just repeat it. I am so thankful that she shared her story. It is so powerful and such an important story because I know it is not easy to be that vulnerable. I am also thankful on a deeper level because that was my lived reality for a few years until my mom left my dad. I think she left him when I was in, I think, class 5, class six…. But my dad was super abusive, like physically abusive.
Adelle added that the anxiety that would come when she heard his car horn was intense.
I was just thinking…. and Imagine at that age, I was thinking would he be violent today or will it be a peaceful night, silently trying to make a deal with God praying, ‘Please just let him be peaceful today, and I’ll make sure I do ABC, and I am so thankful that my mother left him. It was such a huge act of love for herself first and then a huge act of love for my sisters and me. When I look back, I’m just like I am so thankful she left him.
Adelle says that her emotions were associated with violence, confrontation, yelling, and screaming that made up her childhood. She is currently in therapy, getting professional help.
I don’t know about other people or other countries, but here we have normalized violent homes so much, and we ignore the effects it has. Not only on the spouse getting abused but on the kids. For instance, I remember once in therapy, it came up, and I realized people always tell me I’m never angry and you are always smiling. The truth is I am very scared of anger. This just came up in therapy. I am scared of anger and I am scared of confrontation.
Listen to the whole story on her podcast by following her on Instagram. This is part of 100 African stories.